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Multimedia => Media Talk => Topic started by: ordelore on March 30, 2016, 03:00:07 am

Title: [Story] Unlocked
Post by: ordelore on March 30, 2016, 03:00:07 am
Link to the html hosted version that is updated occasionally (http://ordelore.github.io)
So, I'm writing a story, and I'm looking for feedback. Anything constructive/grammar/spelling is welcome.
I have no set release date for updating chapters, only that they will be done when I have time, which is very rare and rationed heavily.
Link to the 'Nightly Build' State Here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oNutGzxgpLW1MXSNufepxQrUOER77voODRhNX0AJu-A/edit?usp=sharing)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on March 30, 2016, 04:04:28 pm
Hm I actually like it. I wasn't too sure at first due to the topic being mainstream at first, but as it progressed, I got hooked and I am curious about what will happen next. I actually like the in-school revolution story.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Juju on March 30, 2016, 05:03:39 pm
Is that about Jesus? Well, it's pretty nice so far.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on March 31, 2016, 02:04:33 am
Quote from: Juju on March 30, 2016, 05:03:39 pm
Is that about Jesus? Well, it's pretty nice so far.

Correct, the original plan was to re-tell the story of Jesus in a modern setting.

Quote from: DJ Omnimaga on March 30, 2016, 04:04:28 pm
I actually like the in-school revolution story.

It's actually a theme that pops up multiple times in the mini-stories that I write.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on March 31, 2016, 02:41:59 am
For some reasons I didn't realize it was actually about Jesus. O.O I mean, I noticed some similarities, especially near the end, but I thought the intention was to tell the intro to an upcoming social uprising.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Juju on March 31, 2016, 05:36:04 pm
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Araidia on March 31, 2016, 06:02:40 pm
Quote from: Juju on March 31, 2016, 05:36:04 pm
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD

Same here. I think it would be better if it  was less conspicuous, so that people would eventually find out by reading instead of just knowing right off the bat.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on March 31, 2016, 07:37:19 pm
Quote from: Juju on March 31, 2016, 05:36:04 pm
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD
Not for me, because the names are not in French. :P

Also I downvoted Juju post by accident when trying to click Quote >.<
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Dudeman313 on March 31, 2016, 09:32:19 pm
 I like it! Your modern remix sounds intriguing.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1) [spoliers]
Post by: ordelore on April 01, 2016, 02:03:23 am
Kinda working on it now, and changed the names so that they are kinda harder to figure out the
Spoiler: ShowHide
Jesus-ness quality of the story
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on April 07, 2016, 02:19:40 am
Bump, I have 3 chapters done now, and I ended up writing much deeper themes than I expected
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Dudeman313 on April 07, 2016, 02:37:39 am
Deep themes are good themes. The deeper the themes, the more a reader will want to see more.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on April 07, 2016, 03:10:57 am
I just read the new chapter. Nice work so far. :)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on April 12, 2016, 09:41:15 pm
Chapter 4 done, but I'm probably going to extend the ending.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on April 19, 2016, 02:15:09 am
Chapter 5 kinda done
I think that I'm just going to get all the stories I want written down, and then elaborate later.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Dudeman313 on April 19, 2016, 01:07:16 pm
A good strategy when writing. :)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on April 19, 2016, 09:01:03 pm
I'm glad this is progressing. I didn't have time to read the two new chapters yet, so I'll read them later. :)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on April 28, 2016, 03:39:21 am
I'm working on turning this into a more-readable html site.
Available at ordelore.github.io (http://ordelore.github.io)
Update:The domain expired.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on April 28, 2016, 07:00:24 pm
I like the idea of making an HTML version. Nowadays people like to be able to access web content immediately rather than downloading a .doc file or opening one in an online document viewer :P

Have you written new chapters?
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on April 29, 2016, 02:43:54 am
Nothing new, homework is a pain. :(
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on April 29, 2016, 04:34:52 am
Ah ok. Good luck with homework >.< (I hated homework a lot)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: c4ooo on April 30, 2016, 08:44:49 pm
Nice work! Is this your first writing project?

However (this is just my opinion) the tone of the writing annoys me somehow :P
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 02, 2016, 12:45:45 am
Quote from: c4ooo on April 30, 2016, 08:44:49 pm
Nice work! Is this your first writing project?

However (this is just my opinion) the tone of the writing annoys me somehow :P

It's my first 'serious' writing project
The tone is kinda snarky on purpose, because that's my initial plan, but I may change that later because of feedback like the one you graciously gave
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 02, 2016, 09:22:40 pm
By snarky tone, do you mean less neutral about the story that is being told?
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 02, 2016, 10:55:37 pm
Pretty much, yeah
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 02, 2016, 11:19:33 pm
Ah ok. I guess that could get to people who are very protective about their religion, especially if they're Christian.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Dudeman313 on May 04, 2016, 01:03:27 am
When you finish it, you could take it to AMG for publishing, and sell it in Lifeway or sonething.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 04, 2016, 01:56:31 am
It depends. If they find such re-use of the bible offensive for whatever reason or not true enough to it, then perhaps they won't. But it depends what range of bible-related material they allow.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 18, 2016, 02:54:37 am
Got a domain working for the website!
www.ordelore8x.me (http://www.ordelore8x.me)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Unicorn on May 18, 2016, 04:29:31 am
Awesome! When I have more free time, I definitely will time reading this!
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 19, 2016, 07:56:30 pm
Nice to see you got your domain name. :D
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 24, 2016, 10:02:37 pm
I've mucked around with CSS and I think the index page is sufficiently set up to not cause eye cancer
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 25, 2016, 01:32:27 am
You should make the text so it also has the main page design too.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 25, 2016, 01:48:37 am
That's my current project right now.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on May 26, 2016, 09:59:51 pm
Attention all web devs: Why is my <div> tag usage not working?
The h1 text shows up as regular, black, serif text.
Code ("HTML") Select
<div id="top">
    <h1>Copy of Untitled Story (1)</h1>
</div>

Code ("CSS") Select

#top {
    font-family: Sans-Serif;
    background-color:#000000;
    color:white;
    text-align:center;
    padding:5px;
    text-align: center;
}
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on May 27, 2016, 06:30:21 am
I think you should post this in a separate topic. It will get noticed better with a relevant title.
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: ordelore on July 31, 2016, 05:02:26 am
I finally have a title for the story: Unlocked
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on July 31, 2016, 05:48:47 am
I like it actually. :)
Title: Re: Copy of Untitled Story (1)
Post by: Juju on July 31, 2016, 05:55:55 am
Yep, not bad.
Title: Re: Unlocked
Post by: ordelore on September 27, 2016, 02:48:27 am
Just confirming that I'm still writing this. Mostly just a few edits to previous chapters right now, and chapter 6 is still stuck in the middle.
Title: Re: Unlocked
Post by: DJ Omnimaga on September 27, 2016, 04:13:44 am
Aaah ok. Glad it's still alive, though. (https://codewalr.us/other/walriifanart/WalriiNgel-2.gif)
Title: Re: Unlocked
Post by: ordelore on May 10, 2017, 02:21:01 am
I recently made some edits to the main site and also added a new chapter. The color scheme should be more pleasing now.