General anagram thread

[JWinslow23]

Bump.

I came across this amusing challenge: anagram the phrase "Once and for all, can you give me an educated answer to the question: what comes first, the chicken or the egg?" The results are amazing, and they point in all different directions. I took the best ones and put them here (modified slightly from their original versions). The last two are my own attempts, made just a few minutes ago.



Once and for all, can you give me an educated answer to the question: what comes first, the chicken or the egg?
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The egg. Whatever a hen's made out of was not normal chicken DNA quite yet, according to the rules of science.
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Oh, to conclude that old query can make us frenetic.
"Ah," one man voiced, "it was the egg, for the answer's genetic!"
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When true cooks are concocting a quiche, they add hotter fowl in advance. An omelet means use the egg first.
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Quite the latter, if two eggs came as an hors d'oeuvre, and coco chicken and mango chutney is the fowl entree.
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We did watch a "chicken versus egg" footrace. They aren't so equal. Come on, the round thing came in last! (No feet.)
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After adequately checking some facts, I've announced an answer: "To get to the other side!"
Oh, um...wrong cliche!
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Ah, too much to ask me. Feels aggravating how the correct cycle isn't found! I needed a hint, can we request one?
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Now, I'd suggest, reach one closed favor...if each created the other, that cycle's quite an unknown enigma to me!

[JWinslow23]

Bump.

I found these AWESOME anagrams of the "To be or not to be" soliloquy from William Shakespeare's Hamlet. They paraphrase, almost exactly word for word, other sections of dialogue from Hamlet throughout the play. Just...wow.



To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and, by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life...
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O! that this too too solid flesh would melt,
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew;
Or that the Everlasting had not set
His precept 'gainst self-slaughter! Rebuke! Rebuke!
How weary, foul, puffed, and abominable
Seem to me the questions of this place.
Fie on 't! O fie! 'tis a once heeded garden,
That's left to pot; the rank and weed in nature
Possess it merely. But he should come to this!
Not four months dead: nay, half as much, but two:
As superior a man; so as, to this step,
Hyperion to a satyr; so caring to my mother
Permit he not beteem the beams of stars
Access her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!
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I have of late, – but wherefore do not seek, – lost all my cheer, ashamed that the oddest mood upsets me so seethingly that our lush frame, at the earth, soon seems to me a detested sterile promontory; this aesthetic roof toasted by stoked mythical golden fire truthfully appears to me therefore as such a both foul and pestilent congregation of bath vapours. What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! in theme, how impressive and truthful! in action as an angel! and apprehension as a god! the beauty of the world! the crest of beasts! But, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?
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O! what a rogue and peasant slave am I:
Is't not monstrous that this player here,
Could force his soul so to the best esteem
That from her working feebled all his looks,
Have tears in eyes, add a tempest of bombasts,
A broken voice, and his whole function suiting
With forms to top esteem? and all for nothing!
Frets Hecuba to him for he to tear
That he so pretty sobs? What would he do
Had he not the uttermost cue for passion
As by me? He could drown the stage in tears,
Atone the guilty and appal the free,
Confound the temperate, and to quite impress
The seemly faculties of eyes and ears.
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How all occasions do inform against me,
And spur my dull revenge! What's a man,
If his chief hope and market of his time
Be but to sleep and feed? a helpless beast, thou.
Sure he that made us with much large esteem,
He looked from before to after, gave unto us not
That potential and smoothest reason
To fust in us effetely. Whe'r it be
Bestial petty sloth, or some softer scruple
To foresee too precisely on a theme,
A knot, which, quarter'd, hath but one part hero,
And also three parts coward, I see not
Why yet I be to say 'This thing's to do;'
Sith I have cause and lots of strength and means
To do 't.
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Alas! poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of endless mirth, of most splendid fancy; he hath paraded me on his shoulders a thousand separate times; and now too detested in the greatest depths of my imagination it is! Here hung those lips that I have oft kissed. When be you at fatuous gibes? at gambols? at accents? at those deftest flashes of espoused merriment, that were wont to burst the tables on a roar? But not one to be sped now, to renounce reverence? quite chapfallen? Foot you to my lady's chamber, tell her, let her protest, of this favour she must come; see her laugh at that.

[Dream of Omnimaga]

I sadly still didn't have time and energy to read through all anagrams yet (and it doesn't help that I speak French ) but I did a quick search and was surprised that there seemed to be no anagram of rickroll and AYBABTU

[JWinslow23]

Bump.

I decided to take up the art of spamagrams, just for a moment. Spamagrams, for the uninitiated, is the art of anagramming spam messages, often with humorous results. Here is my attempt at anagramming an old spam message from 1995.



THE KEY TO ORGANIZING YOUR HEALTH RECORDS
"If you care about yourself and your children, you will do everything you
can to know your family's medical history. It can save your life, and the
lives of those who are dear to you." -- Dr. Aubry Milunsky, Director,
Boston University's Center for Human Genetics (Life Magazine, March,
1995).

Your Lifetime Health Planner offers the simplest, most effective way to
take charge of your health. Enter important facts about your health
history, keep a record of the names of medications and their effects,
document each doctor visit and diagnosis. You will have the information
you need, and in the event of an emergency, so will your family.

Your Lifetime Health Planner, 198 pages in a compact, loose-leaf binder,
contains a variety of sections which include "Doctor Visits,"
"Medications," "Family Health History," and "Doctors and Specialists."
The Planner is a must for the busy executive who needs to stay organized,
for seniors who are receiving care and for newborns who need a record of
their health care.

Parents Magazine recommended the Planner to its readers (April, 1994) and
MCI called it "a useful resource in managing your personal health
records." Margie Smotherman, Coordinator, Employee Health and Wellness,
Blue Shield/Blue Cross of Iowa, said: "The employees felt that these
(Planners) were great tools to not only record their pertinent numbers,
but to plan for doctor's visits."

To get your copy, send a check or money order for $19.95 (plus shipping
and handling) to :

Your Lifetime Health Planner
1955 W Grant Rd., # 230
Tucson AZ 85745
USA

Shipping and handling charges: $4.95 US; $8 Canada/Mexico; $14 Europe;
$18 Asia/Pacific Rim.

Include your name, address and telephone number.*

Visa/MasterCard orders, call 520-798-1530.

*Large corporate discounts available for orders of 1,000 copies or more.

Your Lifetime Health Planner
1955 West Grant Road, #230
Tucson, AZ 85747

Enclosed is $______ for ______ copies of Your Lifetime Health Planner.

Please ship to:

YOUR NAME _____________________________________________

YOUR ADDRESS _________________________________________
Street
__________________________________________________
City State Zip or Postal Code Country

YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER ____________________________________
=

THE SECRET TO ANNOYING YOUR FRIENDS
"Oh god, THAT email again? I hate it! You must be a crazy, ridiculous, oaf if you actually try it anyway. I tried once...never again. Goddamn underhanded heathens...cost me one million dollars...I am STILL not entirely sure how to pay for that. Oh, and I bet that'll also be a testimonial dialogue, too, huh? Huh? Oh ha, how ironic." -- Dr. Woodrow Ifihadapaddle, People for the Offensive Treatment of Spammers (1955-1983)

Your Personalized Spambot teaches a complete, surefire way to frustrate others with underhanded orders to collect money. You tell them it can change their lives forever, yet we realize it can't happen. All the chain messages do is increase concern. You'll concern your family, friends, children, and your children's children, too, for generations to come.

Your Personalized Spambot, 531 pages of pure and corrupt filth, is a reference to the most advanced, inaccurate spam secrets, including "Enlarge Your Penis For Free", "Get Rich Rich Rich In A Year", "The Art of The Long Incoherent Blog Post", and "Actually Selling An Item: How Does It Work?"

When asked about our once-in-a-millenium offer, Horse Crap Monthly simply headlined "the best you can get for your fools, scams, and inane horsec". The Chronicler Chronicle harshly threw it on the ground, gave it a rather neglectful stare, and said "No comment."

To have your free Personalized Spambot, sacrifice your firstborn son and mail the carcass to:

Your Personalized Spambot
4577 W. ctier Ave. # 188
Springfield NT 90210
USA

Price of free sample: $9,999.99 US; $44 Canada; $854,019.23 for Kelsey (she knows why); $1 anyone else.

Provide your name, date of birth, and a small blood sample from a churchmouse. *

American Express/Panda Express Gift Card orders, call 555-555-FIVE.

*If you order 1,000 or more, you're a retard.

Your Personalized Spambot
4577 West ctier Avenue # 188
Springfield, NT 90210

Enclosed in my correspondence is $______ in Golden Tickets that invite you to go c yourselves.

Personal information:

YOUR NAME _____________________________________________

YOUR ADDRESS _________________________________________
Avenue
__________________________________________________
City State City-State Universe

YOUR COMPLETE LIFE STORY ____________________________________

[Dream of Omnimaga]

ROFL, I like it XD. I bet this must have taken a long time to make, though.

[JWinslow23]

ROFL, I like it XD. I bet this must have taken a long time to make, though.

I think it took about two hours to do last night. Once I filled in some stuff I needed, it was kinda easy...but not very . This is never usually a problem, but there were too many vowels for some reason. My usual problem is too few.

[JWinslow23]

Bump.

My teacher asked me to anagram these actual headlines from the World War I era. I think he'll like the results.



"IT'S WAR!" SAYS THE KAISER
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Hysteria stirs, awakes.

DESPERATE FIGHTING IS IN PROGRESS IN FLANDERS; POISONOUS GASES ARE USED BY THE ENEMY
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Germans issue tear gas shots in eyes. They did bring a suffering depression on people.

WORLD WAR ENDS; ARMISTICE SIGNED; KAISER IS OUT; GERMAN REVOLUTION
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Grim turmoil is a large risk, and now...sides need a truce. Now it's over.



He also gave me a propaganda poster to anagram. I think it's a nice paraphrase.



THE BRITISH EMPIRE STANDS FOR WORLD PEACE AND SECURITY
DEFEND IT
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THIS ISLAND
PROTECTED, RESPECTED, REFINED
WITH FIRM SEA BOUNDARY

[Dream of Omnimaga]

Lol I like them actually. Also for some reasons the original text for the first ones seemed more cryptic than the anagram themselves, assuming the anagrams are meant to have the same meaning as the original text.

[JWinslow23]

Lol I like them actually. Also for some reasons the original text for the first ones seemed more cryptic than the anagram themselves, assuming the anagrams are meant to have the same meaning as the original text.

I tried my best to paraphrase the headlines. I think I did a pretty good job.

Sometimes, I feel like if you're confused about something, anagrams can reveal a deeper truth in it. Not always, but if done right.

If you're feeling mixed up and you're feeling confused,
mix up the letters, to clear it up for you.

[Dream of Omnimaga]

Yeah. Also it's harder for me to read between lines with some text, so the anagrams there rewords the entire thing and it helps

[JWinslow23]

Oh, I also did this because I wanted to. Forgive him, this is an ancient view.



I repeat, that the superior races have a right because they have a duty. They have the duty to civilize the inferior races .... In the history of earlier centuries these duties, gentlemen, have often been misunderstood; and certainly when the Spanish soldiers and explorers introduced slavery into Central America, they did not fulfill their duty as men of a higher race .... But, in our time, I maintain that European nations acquit themselves with generosity, with grandeur, and with sincerity of this superior civilizing duty.
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I supply my criticism of one crazy idea I hate: "all men are created equal". I find it amazing, even funny, that people have the angst to say that untrue idea. It is obvious, different races are less evolved than the white race. This is why cultural diffusion is important. Naturally, they turn into severe brutes with inherent unending violence. Their sorry behavior needs to get corrected. Rulers need to hurry up and exercise their high authority to mend the idiotic heathens. Yet, with higher racism, it is easier said than done.

[Dream of Omnimaga]

I hope that by ancient you don't mean that this was Donald Trump's former view, but rather the view of ancient US civilization

[JWinslow23]

I hope that by ancient you don't mean that this was Donald Trump's former view, but rather the view of ancient US civilization

Nope, Jules Francois Camille Ferry.

[Dream of Omnimaga]

I never heard of him. I'll have to do some research on him, then

[JWinslow23]

Bump.

I decided to make some poetry. Only, I had the one constraint that it had to be an anagram of the names of the 12 months. Let's see how I did.



January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
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Smog, a jumbled up fury,
A chapter in my year.
Just remember, be brave;
Our journey can't be clear.
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Be a merry, grand charmer.
Just be forever true.
Maybe later, some jubilance
Can jump up by you.



A bit unrelated, but...
Starting from June, the first letters of the months are JJASONDJFMAM. Which could be used to describe a morning DJ on a radio show.

J. JASON, DJ
FM/AM