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[NSFW] The Ultimate Calculator Buying Guide 2021, by CodeWalrus

Started by DJ Omnimaga, June 30, 2021, 07:23:54 PM

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DJ Omnimaga

Welcome to the 2021 calculator buying guide by CodeWalrus! In this guide, we will do things differently, but we will mostly focus on color screen calculators and go by brand instead. Each brand has a different philosophy and approach when selling and promoting their portable gaming consoles to students across the globe. So you need to choose wisely.

-TI:
At TI, the motto is "Be rich, or be Casich". So they cater to the richest students across the globe. In the next decade, an OS update will remove GetKey from TI-BASIC to ensure that students are busy listening to the teacher and not starring in disbelief at Illusiat 1 and 2 enemy's "d***". So if you're millionaire, go with TI.

-Casio:
Casio excels in creating calculators for adults that can mask any smell around, especially their Krazy Glue-flavored fx-CG10 and fx-CG20 gaming consoles. On the fx-CG10/20 in particular, the smell will last for decades. However, keep in mind that there could be long-term health issues caused by the constant sniffing of those portable gaming devices.

-HP:
Wanna experience the greatest glitchfest of any of the gaming consoles that includes a calculator software? Go HP! With the HP Prime, you will be able to play a game that involves pressing ON+SYMB as many times as possible as well. It's also your first introduction to gambling, as you have a few chances to get a 2nd generation HP Prime while purchasing that calculator instead of the G1 model! But they hate Canada it seems, because like TI, over here, HP calcs are just for millionaires.

-Numworks:
Your secondary introduction to gambling, courtesy of Amazon, but unavailable in France. Will your lucky number be 100 or 110? Once upon a time, this gaming console was seen as the calculator community savior, with Python execution speeds that rivals Playstation 5 assembly language's. Despite this, this calculator has yet to feature the game DOOM, which is surprising since it can run on a cat. Is this in response to their recent plagerism of TI-84 Plus CE OS 5.5.1 and 5.6.0 exam protection? Nonetheless, if you wanna practice treason or aren't rich enough to buy a Playstation 5, then go NumWorks!

I hope this helped you for your next graphing calculator purchase.
  • Calculators owned: TI-84 Plus, TI-84 Plus C Silver Edition, TI-84 Plus CE, Casio fx-CG10, HP Prime, fx 1.0 Plus, fx-7400G Plus, fx-9750G Plus, fx-9860G, HP 39gII
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Huawei P30 Lite, Nintendo 64, Wii U

novenary

I think I'm gonna stick with retro gaming, on my trusty TI-84 Plus. It runs zTetris, and MathPrint is the loveliest glitchfest ever. What more could you ask for?

aeTIos

Thanks so much! I was always wondering what to go for and seeing the lack of doom on the numworks really is a detractor. I'm buying a cat instead.
ceci n'est pas une signature

M4x1m3

I must admit that the lack of Doom on Numworks is somewhat surprising. Do you know if it can run on a dog too ? If yes, where is the JTAG header to flash it ?
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Nintendo GBA, Nintendo GBA-SP, Nintendo Wii

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