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_iPhoenix_ bribes, err, persuades people to dl his programs.

Started by _iPhoenix_,

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This is mostly just a thing for SM84CE.  :love:

Notice how I shamelessly advertise my programs a lot? If you haven't, you might be illiterate. Then again, you are reading this sentence.

For example, check out AoJ:
QuoteIn this game, you must fly around the screen capturing grey squares, all while under a time crunch! The movement is simple and intuitive to use, yet refreshingly different and difficult to truly master. Multiple control schemes (arrow keys and number pad) are readily available in-game, to accommodate your preferred method of playing. Featuring multiple modes of difficulty and highscore tables for each, hours of fun are to be had! Screenshots Coming soon! Update: Speed improvements and renamed difficulties.
It is excessively positive, it makes an otherwise dull game sound amazing!

It clearly worked, I have over 2000 downloads on that file, and counting!

In BBS, I go even further:
QuoteIn this strangely fun and satisfying program, you can bounce a bouncy ball in a small room! More details in the readme! Huge thanks to JWinslow23 for taking the time to slice off a ton of bytes from this program.

This program was uploaded at the height of when videos claiming to be the "most satisfying video on the internet" were at their height. The word choice here is crucial.

In Procrastinate, I go all out. I engineered it to be like most of the really crappy App Store descriptions:

QuoteA super fun game, with awesome TI-BASIC graphics, including a rendition of Google Docs and Sublime Text! Can you finish your essay while being distracted by the shiny Sublime Text editor and upgrades screen? Uses no picture variables, only a single program. Includes a highscores table. GIF captured by jcgter777.

I challenge the user to finish my game, making them feel like they are chickening out if they don't download it. I list a bunch of impressive stats (this is a TI-BASIC game, after all) like a machine gun. Overwhelm the user with positivity, and maybe they will click the shiny link called "download"!
  • Calculators owned: Two TI-84+ CE's
Please spam here:

"walruses are better than tuxedo chickens, all hail the great :walrii:" ~ me
Evolution of my avatar:


I've also done this... My VirusCheckers are fake, yet people download them because the screenshots look legit...  Also, on some programs, when used in conjunction with another, (not naming), there is a risk of an infinite "ERROR: Memory" loop that can only be exited by a reset, even though that's not documented as a "Don't" in the readme...  This bug is never mentioned by the creator, in the program thread, or anywhere.  It's us (the calculator programming community) that bring these up.
  • Calculators owned: TI-84+CE


I feel like I've done this too, to an extent.

8K Adventure:
Quote from: 8K AdventureIntroducing an all-new method of calculator text adventures! You, a black dwarf named Grimbis, must recover a magical orb belonging to Gawyn, the lord of all realms. Can you solve the puzzles, recover the orb, and keep the land in eternal winter? NOTE: Intended for TI-84+ CE OS 5.2 or newer.
Bejeweled 84+:
Quote from: Bejeweled 84+Introducing, the first Bejeweled clone for the TI-83+/84+/SE in pure TI-BASIC! This has very fast speed for a BASIC game, and excellent graphics made from textsprites. You also have the ability to save your game and come back to it later, as well as to restart the level you're on. In only 3.4 KB, this is a must-have for people that like puzzle games!
Candy Wars (my first game I uploaded to ticalc; actually kinda dull):
Quote from: Candy Wars by Josiah WCandy Wars is a Drug-Wars type game in which you have to buy and sell candy in order to be able to afford a new bike. This game is really fun and addicting. UPDATE: Added day tracking in main menu, added loss check, lowered starting money amount, reworked sales, now DCS compatible
CHELSEA (a re-skin of 8K Adventure, which itself was a reskin of another small chatbot project I did called CALSPEAK):
Quote from: CHELSEA, the psychologist chatbotCHELSEA (Chatbot Harnessing ELIZA's Logic to Simulate Emotional Analysis) is a chatbot made entirely in TI-BASIC designed to mimic the behavior of a psychologist. Talk to it about your problems, and perhaps she might help. This uses techniques from 1966 that can pass the Turing test!
Cookie Clicker Axe:
Quote from: Cookie Clicker AxeThe insanely addicting Cookie Clicker game that took the internet by storm has now made its way to the calculator in this must-have port! Complete with a mouse cursor, grayscale graphics, a news ticker, and much more, Cookie Clicker Axe is one of the best Cookie Clicker clones you'll see on your calculator! Made using Axe Parser 1.2.2.
Descent (strangely called Descent Delivery by ticalc's news on it; that is the company, I guess):
QuoteWelcome to Descent Delivery! The future of delivery is here! Control a package inside a delivery room, and guide it to the delivery truck. The package moves until it hits a wall, so you must be smart in maneuvering through the many rooms. Good luck! UPDATE: Fixed small issues with game elements
Desert Bus II (a joke game in which you wait for a tow truck for 8 hours)
Quote from: Desert Bus IIWait for the tow truck to arrive in this spiritual successor to Desert Bus! During your wait in the hot Arizona sun, marvel at the 4-level grayscale animated graphics! This game is sure to provide literal hours of enjoyment! (Well, at least the "hours" part is correct.)
Flappy Bird by Josiah W.
QuoteThe infamous iOS game, now on 83/84+! (Yes, this is Flappy Bird, deal with it.) This boasts such features as a fun title screen, grayscale graphics, a parallax scrolling background, highscore saving, and all in 4KB!
Mad Libs: _____ Weather Ahead!
QuoteThis is a quality Mad Libs game (with over 20 words to fill in) with a storyline of breaking news at the beach. What's happening? Only you shall tell! This Mad Libs will give guaranteed laughs for everyone!
Puzzler's Sudoku:
QuoteThe ultimate version of Sudoku for your TI-83+/84+/SE! This boasts many features for the Sudoku enthusiast such as pencilmarks, 100 puzzles included, and random puzzles, while including fun features such as grayscale graphics, and the ability to create and play packs of custom puzzles! Check this out if you're a fan on logic and number puzzles ;)
TI-2048 by Josiah W (not as "definitive" as I state, but still kinda awesome):
QuoteThis is the definitive port of the online hit 2048 that has taken the world by storm! Complete with grayscale, highscore saving, and smooth animation, this is a must-have for your TI calculator!

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