Link to the html hosted version that is updated occasionally (http://ordelore.github.io)
So, I'm writing a story, and I'm looking for feedback. Anything constructive/grammar/spelling is welcome.
I have no set release date for updating chapters, only that they will be done when I have time, which is very rare and rationed heavily.
Link to the 'Nightly Build' State Here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oNutGzxgpLW1MXSNufepxQrUOER77voODRhNX0AJu-A/edit?usp=sharing)
Hm I actually like it. I wasn't too sure at first due to the topic being mainstream at first, but as it progressed, I got hooked and I am curious about what will happen next. I actually like the in-school revolution story.
Is that about Jesus? Well, it's pretty nice so far.
Quote from: Juju on March 30, 2016, 05:03:39 PM
Is that about Jesus? Well, it's pretty nice so far.
Correct, the original plan was to re-tell the story of Jesus in a modern setting.
Quote from: DJ Omnimaga on March 30, 2016, 04:04:28 PM
I actually like the in-school revolution story.
It's actually a theme that pops up multiple times in the mini-stories that I write.
For some reasons I didn't realize it was actually about Jesus. O.O I mean, I noticed some similarities, especially near the end, but I thought the intention was to tell the intro to an upcoming social uprising.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD
Quote from: Juju on March 31, 2016, 05:36:04 PM
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD
Same here. I think it would be better if it was less conspicuous, so that people would eventually find out by reading instead of just knowing right off the bat.
Quote from: Juju on March 31, 2016, 05:36:04 PM
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John kind of gave it away xD
Not for me, because the names are not in French. :P
Also I downvoted Juju post by accident when trying to click Quote >.<
I like it! Your modern remix sounds intriguing.
Kinda working on it now, and changed the names so that they are kinda harder to figure out the
[spoiler]Jesus-ness quality of the story[/spoiler]
Bump, I have 3 chapters done now, and I ended up writing much deeper themes than I expected
Deep themes are good themes. The deeper the themes, the more a reader will want to see more.
I just read the new chapter. Nice work so far. :)
Chapter 4 done, but I'm probably going to extend the ending.
Chapter 5 kinda done
I think that I'm just going to get all the stories I want written down, and then elaborate later.
A good strategy when writing. :)
I'm glad this is progressing. I didn't have time to read the two new chapters yet, so I'll read them later. :)
I'm working on turning this into a more-readable html site.
Available at ordelore.github.io (http://ordelore.github.io)
Update:The domain expired.
I like the idea of making an HTML version. Nowadays people like to be able to access web content immediately rather than downloading a .doc file or opening one in an online document viewer :P
Have you written new chapters?
Nothing new, homework is a pain. :(
Ah ok. Good luck with homework >.< (I hated homework a lot)
Nice work! Is this your first writing project?
However (this is just my opinion) the tone of the writing annoys me somehow :P
Quote from: c4ooo on April 30, 2016, 08:44:49 PM
Nice work! Is this your first writing project?
However (this is just my opinion) the tone of the writing annoys me somehow :P
It's my first 'serious' writing project
The tone is kinda snarky on purpose, because that's my initial plan, but I may change that later because of feedback like the one you graciously gave
By snarky tone, do you mean less neutral about the story that is being told?
Pretty much, yeah
Ah ok. I guess that could get to people who are very protective about their religion, especially if they're Christian.
When you finish it, you could take it to AMG for publishing, and sell it in Lifeway or sonething.
It depends. If they find such re-use of the bible offensive for whatever reason or not true enough to it, then perhaps they won't. But it depends what range of bible-related material they allow.
Got a domain working for the website!
www.ordelore8x.me (http://www.ordelore8x.me)
Awesome! When I have more free time, I definitely will time reading this!
Nice to see you got your domain name. :D
I've mucked around with CSS and I think the index page is sufficiently set up to not cause eye cancer
You should make the text so it also has the main page design too.
That's my current project right now.
Attention all web devs: Why is my <div> tag usage not working?
The h1 text shows up as regular, black, serif text.
<div id="top">
<h1>Copy of Untitled Story (1)</h1>
</div>
#top {
font-family: Sans-Serif;
background-color:#000000;
color:white;
text-align:center;
padding:5px;
text-align: center;
}
I think you should post this in a separate topic. It will get noticed better with a relevant title.
I finally have a title for the story: Unlocked
I like it actually. :)
Yep, not bad.
Just confirming that I'm still writing this. Mostly just a few edits to previous chapters right now, and chapter 6 is still stuck in the middle.
Aaah ok. Glad it's still alive, though.
I recently made some edits to the main site and also added a new chapter. The color scheme should be more pleasing now.