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I'm giving up on programming.

Started by kegwaan, April 27, 2016, 12:24:06 AM

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kegwaan

For a while, I've been telling myself and others that I'm a programmer.
But I'm not. And if I am, I'm a pretty trash programmer. I've never finished a project that's worthy of anything. Remember when I tried to make Fallout 84+ and got no where, then gave up on it? And Rocket League 84+ -- forget about it, it's just not going to happen.
And that's just calculator stuff -- I haven't mentioned anything about actual, computer programming. I've yet to be even remotely useful with a language. I've tried to learn C++, Python, HTML/CSS/JavaScript, and all I've learned is that I'm trash at programming.

And programming isn't the only thing I suck at. Just a little bit ago I got back from a Jazz Festival where I played the drums. And just as I thought I was getting better at them (this is my first year playing) some kid had to put me to shame. At that moment, I realized there are so many things I'm just not cut out for.

So that's why I won't be on often. And I definitely won't be working on any projects. I still might visit CodeWalrus a bit, but I'm no longer a programmer (if I even was), I am just here to observe.
  • Calculators owned: TI-84+ SE, TI-84+ CSE
"If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid."

Dream of Omnimaga

#1
Hi Kegwaan

I'm sorry to hear. I can understand the feeling, though. I myself never got able to climb further than TI-BASIC and hybrid TI-BASIC-like languages (notice for example how I released two Axe games in 2010 then another in 2013, only to switch back to TI-BASIC afterwards). Don't feel bad about it, though. There are several CodeWalrus members who have never programmed anything serious, but are still sticking around.

Even if you decide to not program anymore, your encouragements and (when applicable) suggestions for other people's projects or creations, regardless of the platform, are very valuable as well, since project replies is what keeps them alive sometimes. I hope you still stick around even as a non-programmer :)


There are also lots of non-creativity topics on CW such as gaming :)
  • Calculators owned: TI-82 Advanced Edition Python TI-84+ TI-84+CSE TI-84+CE TI-84+CEP TI-86 TI-89T cfx-9940GT fx-7400G+ fx 1.0+ fx-9750G+ fx-9860G fx-CG10 HP 49g+ HP 39g+ HP 39gs (bricked) HP 39gII HP Prime G1 HP Prime G2 Sharp EL-9600C
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Huawei P30 Lite, Moto G 5G, Nintendo 64 (broken), Playstation, Wii U

catastropher

I've often struggled with feelings of not being good enough at things. But in recent years I've changed my way of thinking. I'm not the best programmer in the world and I have no desire of becoming so. What I do want to become is the best programmer that I personally can be - without comparing myself to other people. So, instead of thinking you're a "trash" programmer, honestly tell yourself, "Hey I don't know everything. But you know what? I'm on a path towards learning more".

For years people have told me that I couldn't do things. I can't be a programmer because I'm not smart enough. I can't do well in school because I'm not a good student. I can't do programming or play the piano because I have arthritis. The sad thing is, after a while, I started to believe it - I became the one telling myself that, even when others stopped. But you know what I realized? It was me who was holding me back. By telling myself that I couldn't do it, it because a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, please don't make the mistake of comparing your abilities to other people. When I see other people who are really awesome, I don't think "I can never be that". Instead, I think "Hey, why couldn't I do that? I want to learn from them so I can do it too!" You don't know everything and that's ok! We're all students for life and are always learning. If you give up now, you'll never what what you can achieve.
  • Calculators owned: TI-83+, TI-83+ SE, TI-84+ SE, TI-Nspire CX, TI-92+, TI-89 Titanium
Creator of X3D, a 3D portal rendering game engine for Nspire, 68k, and PC

gameblabla

#3
You're really hard on yourself.
Programmer since 2010 and all the games i did were not very notable, which why i spend most of time porting games/emulators.
I've been trying for a while to come up with a new concept for a new game but i'm stuck,
i just don't know how to get new ideas for games.
I'm seeing all those indies making great 2D games, yet i'm incapable of doing even something remotely similar or great.

Stop programming for a while and do something else instead. (maybe reviewing games ? making graphics ? i don't know)
Then 1 year after, you might want to come back to it.

If making games is really what you want, you could still try to use something like RPG Maker.

I don't know what you are going to do next (perhaps you don't even know), but i still wish you good luck.

If there's one thing you are better at than me, it's talking to the others. :p
  • Calculators owned: None (used to own an Nspire and TI-89)

princetonlion.tibd

Quote from: kegwaan on April 27, 2016, 12:24:06 AM
And just as I thought I was getting better at them (this is my first year playing) some kid had to put me to shame. At that moment, I realized there are so many things I'm just not cut out for.
It's your first year, you won't be perfect at drums in your first year. Every percussionist I know and every band director I've had says that drums is the hardest instrument.


And honestly, if you think your bad, I'm most likely worse :P  Which is why I've sort of stopped projects (that and lack of time, ideas, and motivation)
  • Calculators owned: TI-83+, TI-84 + CSE, Voyager 200, TI-Nspire
Anyway war sucks. Just bring us your food instead of missiles  :P ~ DJ Omnimaga (11.10.2016 20:21:48)

catastropher

But why do you need to judge your ability as "good" or "bad"? Why can't you just enjoy doing it and enjoy the learning process? I mean from a logical point of view, if you give up you're certain to accomplish nothing. If you try, there's a small change you'll fail at your goal, but there's an even greater chance that you won't. I'm a person who believes it's not just about the destination, it's about the journey i.e. what you learn along the way. Think about playing a video game. You're not going to be good at it the first time you play, but you keep trying because you're having fun. Thoughts of "I suck and should give up" need to be squashed because they hurt you way more than they help you.
  • Calculators owned: TI-83+, TI-83+ SE, TI-84+ SE, TI-Nspire CX, TI-92+, TI-89 Titanium
Creator of X3D, a 3D portal rendering game engine for Nspire, 68k, and PC

Scipi

There's an adage we use in programming/game design: fail faster. Failure isn't bad, it's how you learn. What's bad is giving up or not trying to improve. So long as you make an effort, you will succeed eventually, even if your goals seem far away. Taking myself, for example, it took me about 2 years to learn C++ to a meaningful extent. And I have never finished a single project. Yet, I found that when I went into college and met other budding programmers, I was far more competent than them because I went through those failures early and I learned more as a result. Now here I am several years later teaching C and x86 assembly at that same college, despite only having an associates degree.

The only thing I can recommend is to not give up. If one way doesn't work, try another way. If computer programming is giving you trouble, try finding a course you can take. Or perhaps try something like CodeAcademy. Or post questions here on the forums, no matter how mundane. I for one love to answer those kinds of questions. :P Learn to be stubborn, and to keep going even if it's out of pure spite. You end up going quite far with that kind of mentality.
  • Calculators owned: TI-83+, Nspire, Nspire CX, Casio Prizm




Dream of Omnimaga

Yeah I agree about asking help on forums. That's where the  development sections are for. We are not StackExchange so we won't bite anyone who asks simple questions if they cannot figure something out :)
  • Calculators owned: TI-82 Advanced Edition Python TI-84+ TI-84+CSE TI-84+CE TI-84+CEP TI-86 TI-89T cfx-9940GT fx-7400G+ fx 1.0+ fx-9750G+ fx-9860G fx-CG10 HP 49g+ HP 39g+ HP 39gs (bricked) HP 39gII HP Prime G1 HP Prime G2 Sharp EL-9600C
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Huawei P30 Lite, Moto G 5G, Nintendo 64 (broken), Playstation, Wii U

Duke "Tape" Eiyeron

Quote from: kegwaan on April 27, 2016, 12:24:06 AM
I've never finished a project that's worthy of anything. Remember when I tried to make Fallout 84+ and got no where, then gave up on it? And Rocket League 84+ -- forget about it, it's just not going to happen.

You have to start low, make simple projects, spend time on how the bigger would be done, and go progressively on more and more complex projects. You don't start with "I'm making a AAA game clone", because big expectations will be put on you and you'll very probably will never make it (because of lack of experience at this point). I don't blame you, I'm just pointing at my own first projects (cloning Gen 1 Pokémon battle engine. It worked but it was in the end too big for me to keep attention on it) and showing that everyone went through this.

Quote
And that's just calculator stuff -- I haven't mentioned anything about actual, computer programming. I've yet to be even remotely useful with a language. I've tried to learn C++, Python, HTML/CSS/JavaScript, and all I've learned is that I'm trash at programming.

Which resources do you use? Are you asking to more skilled people some help? Do you really want to program? I know part of the skill to learn is derived from the motivation to learn.

Quote
And programming isn't the only thing I suck at. Just a little bit ago I got back from a Jazz Festival where I played the drums. And just as I thought I was getting better at them (this is my first year playing) some kid had to put me to shame. At that moment, I realized there are so many things I'm just not cut out for.
Yeah, people with my age showed me they could program things I would never think I'm skilled for this. For instance, a friend was making a frigging OS kernel for Casio calcs when he was 19 (today the project is a bit stalled,  Ishould get back to it sometimes). I was the little prodigy on computers when younger in my surroundings, but only because I was dragged to it when I was 5yo. DOn't ever demotivate yourself because you're half as good as this child. Everyone gets better at their own pace. Learn yours, whatever skill/thing you want to learn/master.

"Patience et longueur de temps font plus que force ni que rage."
  • Calculators owned: A lot.

aetios

#9
Quote from: kegwaan on April 27, 2016, 12:24:06 AM
Just a little bit ago I got back from a Jazz Festival where I played the drums. And just as I thought I was getting better at them (this is my first year playing) some kid had to put me to shame. At that moment, I realized there are so many things I'm just not cut out for.
You're totally too hard on yourself, @kegwaan. I started playing the guitar a little over one year ago and there is a myriad of kids that put me to shame. Does that make me enjoy playing the guitar less? NO! Just learn to enjoy yourself. You don't have to be crazy good to have fun! It's much rather the opposite. If you have crazy fun, you'll get good over time! :D


Oh, and don't give me that 'but I really suck' look. WHATEVER. YOU SUCK. HAVE FUN PLAYING YOUR DRUMS DAMMIT.
-insert shia labeouf here-



(many good replies in this thread)
ceci n'est pas une signature

kegwaan

I appreciate all of the support, and I guess I'll give everything one a few more tries.
  • Calculators owned: TI-84+ SE, TI-84+ CSE
"If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid."

aetios

No matter what, we're not just a programming community but also a social one. Jus' stay around a bit! :D
ceci n'est pas une signature

Dream of Omnimaga

Don't put your expectations too high when learning stuff. It's about the fun IMHO. Of course trying to learn stuff is good but if it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about it.

And I agree with aeTIos.
  • Calculators owned: TI-82 Advanced Edition Python TI-84+ TI-84+CSE TI-84+CE TI-84+CEP TI-86 TI-89T cfx-9940GT fx-7400G+ fx 1.0+ fx-9750G+ fx-9860G fx-CG10 HP 49g+ HP 39g+ HP 39gs (bricked) HP 39gII HP Prime G1 HP Prime G2 Sharp EL-9600C
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Huawei P30 Lite, Moto G 5G, Nintendo 64 (broken), Playstation, Wii U

bb010g

I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone else has said. Someone else's skill doesn't change how skillful you are or have become. There's almost always going to be someone better than you at something. The point isn't always to be the best, but to simply do and improve. Resources like CodeAcademy are great in that you get to see results rather quickly. Along those lines, try out LÖVE. It's a 2D game engine built on Lua that's easy to pick up and start hacking around with. Don't worry about being clean at all, just try something. Try something crazy that makes you feel disgusted at yourself for writing it but you feel super happy about making. Have fun. Go and try and make a bunch of stupid mini games. Maybe take one of them and expand. Or drop it. It doesn't matter as much at that point, as you've now accomplished a goal: actually make something. It doesn't matter that it was tiny, or stupid, or never actually going to help you in real life (although hacking around can offer nice insights into how stuff works under the hood, which is legitimately useful). You'll have set out to do a little experiment, and you'll have finished a little experiment. It'll be nowhere near perfect, but it's done and something you can look back on. Don't start looking for perfection. Start looking to do something small, and then increase and vary the size of your projects. Not everything needs to be tiny, but everything can't really be huge and magnificent. The main thing is to stick with it, which it looks like you have the drive to do. Good luck!
  • Calculators owned: HP 50g, Prime, 28S, 35S, Casio Prizm, dead Nspire CX CAS

Dream of Omnimaga

To add to bb010g point, if somehow coding is really not your cup of tea, then there are ways to make games without writing a single line of code. It's called RPG Maker (2003 and VX Ace are my favorites), Game Maker and there are various other engines out there. I believe that Solarus ( http://www.solarus-games.org/ ) is another of those engines, but I'M not sure. Many hardcore programmers dislike these tools and they might not be that efficient, but sometimes, people who cannot code despite many tries might still want to make a small game, so in those cases Game Maker and such engine can be a last resort solution and if you use them properly, you can probably make something fun with them.

There is also Project Spark, but only if you are willing to spend $1 million on dozens and dozens of DLCs, so I don't really recommend it.
  • Calculators owned: TI-82 Advanced Edition Python TI-84+ TI-84+CSE TI-84+CE TI-84+CEP TI-86 TI-89T cfx-9940GT fx-7400G+ fx 1.0+ fx-9750G+ fx-9860G fx-CG10 HP 49g+ HP 39g+ HP 39gs (bricked) HP 39gII HP Prime G1 HP Prime G2 Sharp EL-9600C
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Huawei P30 Lite, Moto G 5G, Nintendo 64 (broken), Playstation, Wii U

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