* WalrusIRC

You need to have 5 posts and not be part of restricted usergroups in order to use the WalrusIRC embedded shoutbox. However, you can also access our IRC channel called #CodeWalrus via EFnet.

Author Topic: Tell your crappy jokes here!  (Read 2088 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mazhat

  • Full User
  • Join Date: Mar 2017
  • Location:
  • Posts: 144
  • Post Rating Ratio: +6/-0
    • /u/Mazhat
    • Mazhat(?)
    • @Mazhat
    • MOS
  • Gender: Female
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2017, 09:08:04 pm »
Here's one I made, forgot and then remembered.

What is a programmers favourite candy?
(click to show/hide)
  • Calculators owned: TI-83Plus, TI-84Plus
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Samsung TAB A (Cheap), DSI, Rasperry PI 3

Offline WholeWheatBagels

  • Full User
  • Join Date: May 2016
  • Location: "yes"
  • Posts: 139
  • Post Rating Ratio: +2/-0
  • call me Bagels
    • detjensrobert
    • @@detjensrobert
    • WholeWheatBagels
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2017, 02:58:11 pm »
When does an Irish potato stop being an Irish potato?
(click to show/hide)
Living in another world to you.



Also in case you were wondering Frankie did go to Hollywood

Offline mazhat

  • Full User
  • Join Date: Mar 2017
  • Location:
  • Posts: 144
  • Post Rating Ratio: +6/-0
    • /u/Mazhat
    • Mazhat(?)
    • @Mazhat
    • MOS
  • Gender: Female
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2017, 11:34:24 pm »
A new one that hopefully hasn't been made.

Why is it so hard to help Java programmers?
(click to show/hide)
  • Calculators owned: TI-83Plus, TI-84Plus
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Samsung TAB A (Cheap), DSI, Rasperry PI 3

Offline c4ooo

  • Super User
  • CW Contest II Winner
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: 127.0.0.1
  • Posts: 996
  • Post Rating Ratio: +12/-4
  • Advanced forumer
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2017, 11:39:11 pm »
A scientist wonders about the universe and says, "Why?".
An engineer creates things and says, "How?".
An artist draws, and says, "Can I take your order please?".

I love art, please don't destroy me artists. :)
How do you get an arts major of your porch? You pay the pizza delivery man.
Did you hear about the chef who died? He didn't have enough thyme.

Online xlibman

  • Omni founder & CW co-founder
  • CodeWalrus Staff
  • Super User
  • Original 5
  • CodeWalrus Supporter
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2014
  • Location: Quebec, Canada
  • Posts: 18623
  • Post Rating Ratio: +95/-4
    • dj_omnimaga
    • DJOmnimaga.music
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • dj_omnimaga
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • /u/DJ_Omnimaga
    • DJOmnimaga
    • 112/11286
    • @djomnimaga
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • DJ Omnimaga music store
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2017, 08:15:37 pm »
A new one that hopefully hasn't been made.

Why is it so hard to help Java programmers?
(click to show/hide)
I was expecting a coffee joke :P
  • Calculators owned: TI-57, 73, TI-80 (broken), TI-81, TI-82, TI-83, TI-83+ (broken), TI-83+ (broken), TI-83+SE (broken), TI-84+, TI-84+CSE, TI-84+CE, TI-85, TI-86, TI-89T, TI-92, TI-Nspire, TI-Nspire CX (semi-broken), HP 39gII, HP Prime, Casio fx-7000G, fx-7400G+, fx-7700GE, fx-9750G+, fx-9750GII, fx-9860G, cfx-9850G, FX-1.0+, fx-CG10, fx-CP400
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Samsung i5510, Nexus 5, Atari 2600, Lynx, SMS, Game Gear, Genesis, Dreamcast, NES, SNES, N64, GCN, Wii, Wii U, GBA, DS, 3DS, PS2, PS3, PS4, PSP, PSVita, XBox 360, XBOne

Bandcamp|Reverbnation|Facebook|Youtube|Twitter
Retired Omnimaga admin (2001-11) and editor (2012-14)

Offline _iPhoenix_

  • Full User
  • Join Date: Mar 2017
  • Location: Encoded in Binary.
  • Posts: 414
  • Post Rating Ratio: +8/-1
  • █████ ▼ ♪ Best music ♫
    • @dj_iPhoenix
    • @UCytgMNPxAMDsxjimvxHf01w
    • @the-legend-of-iphoenix
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2017, 09:50:26 pm »
Did you hear about the torrential rains that caused the river to flood?
(click to show/hide)

Can we go to the dam giftshop?
(click to show/hide)




I got more... They are along the same thread
*mic drop*


Don't drop mike. What did he do to you?
  • Calculators owned: A sentient TI-84+ CE, TI-85
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: TI-99/4a home computer
Help me with a project by voting here! Thanks!

"walruses are better than tuxedo chickens, all hail the great :walrii:" ~ me

Offline Turiq

  • Full User
  • Safe-haven access
  • Join Date: Dec 2014
  • Location: Germanyland
  • Posts: 45
  • Post Rating Ratio: +1/-0
  • Hewwo! ^~^
  • Gender: Female
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2017, 03:55:25 am »
What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue?
Well, you can tune a piano, but you can't  tuna fish!

...I tried to come up with something clever for the glue, but I got stuck.
  • Calculators owned: 84+SE, Nspire Cas, Nspire CX, Prizm
*blinks*

Offline c4ooo

  • Super User
  • CW Contest II Winner
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: 127.0.0.1
  • Posts: 996
  • Post Rating Ratio: +12/-4
  • Advanced forumer
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2017, 09:03:42 pm »
Calculating the cumulative sum of a big list is cumbersum.

Offline Unicorn

  • ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
  • Super User
  • CW Contest II - 2nd place
  • *
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Location: ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
  • Posts: 2819
  • Post Rating Ratio: +5/-2
  • make :PICKACHUP: a thing!
    • Unicorn808
    • 114/11432
    • ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2017, 06:47:52 am »
cumsum?
  • Calculators owned: I own all of them: PICKACHUP TI 84+ CSE TI 83+ SE TI something something ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: PICKACHUP ??? ??? ??? ??? ???



??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Offline c4ooo

  • Super User
  • CW Contest II Winner
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: 127.0.0.1
  • Posts: 996
  • Post Rating Ratio: +12/-4
  • Advanced forumer
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2017, 08:07:05 pm »
cumsum?
Yea... cumsum() is an actual command on the TI84 that calculates cumulative sum :P

Offline _iPhoenix_

  • Full User
  • Join Date: Mar 2017
  • Location: Encoded in Binary.
  • Posts: 414
  • Post Rating Ratio: +8/-1
  • █████ ▼ ♪ Best music ♫
    • @dj_iPhoenix
    • @UCytgMNPxAMDsxjimvxHf01w
    • @the-legend-of-iphoenix
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2017, 09:04:08 pm »
And it's extremely useful, if you know what you are doing. I don't.

Quote from: Weregoose
A programmer started to fuss,
as going to sleep was a wuss.
Looping 'round in his head,
While he was going to bed,
was: while (!asleep()); sheep++;

That is the most ingenious limerick I have ever seen, (replace "limerick" with "line of code" and you have my reaction to one of his code snippets...) and I've seen a lot of good limericks...
« Last Edit: April 25, 2017, 09:13:25 pm by _iPhoenix_ »
  • Calculators owned: A sentient TI-84+ CE, TI-85
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: TI-99/4a home computer
Help me with a project by voting here! Thanks!

"walruses are better than tuxedo chickens, all hail the great :walrii:" ~ me

Offline Ranman

  • Full User
  • Safe-haven access
  • Join Date: Feb 2017
  • Location:
  • Posts: 49
  • Post Rating Ratio: +2/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2017, 01:23:03 am »
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
.
.
.
.
(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 01:25:06 am by Ranman »
  • Calculators owned: TI-89 HW1, TI-92+, Casio 9860G Slim, Casio fx6300, Tandy PC7
Ranman
Bringing Randy Glover's Jumpman to the TI-89 calculator.

Offline WholeWheatBagels

  • Full User
  • Join Date: May 2016
  • Location: "yes"
  • Posts: 139
  • Post Rating Ratio: +2/-0
  • call me Bagels
    • detjensrobert
    • @@detjensrobert
    • WholeWheatBagels
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2017, 01:44:37 am »
MAAAATH JOOOOKES

So I took a statistics class, right? It was hard af, I ended up failing the first test, got a D on the semester final, and barely scraped a C for the final exam.
But then the teacher extrapolated and gave me a B in the class.

What do you get when you take the derivative of a velociraptor?
(click to show/hide)


EDIT: How do computers count to ten?
(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 02:00:14 am by WholeWheatBagels »
Living in another world to you.



Also in case you were wondering Frankie did go to Hollywood

Online xlibman

  • Omni founder & CW co-founder
  • CodeWalrus Staff
  • Super User
  • Original 5
  • CodeWalrus Supporter
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2014
  • Location: Quebec, Canada
  • Posts: 18623
  • Post Rating Ratio: +95/-4
    • dj_omnimaga
    • DJOmnimaga.music
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • dj_omnimaga
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • /u/DJ_Omnimaga
    • DJOmnimaga
    • 112/11286
    • @djomnimaga
    • @DJOmnimaga
    • DJ Omnimaga music store
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2017, 07:02:33 pm »
Lol turiq nice one. Same for other people's jokes but turiq's kinda made me want to lol IRL

Edit by p2: I hate this "Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk" >.<

« Last Edit: April 27, 2017, 12:25:27 am by p2 »
  • Calculators owned: TI-57, 73, TI-80 (broken), TI-81, TI-82, TI-83, TI-83+ (broken), TI-83+ (broken), TI-83+SE (broken), TI-84+, TI-84+CSE, TI-84+CE, TI-85, TI-86, TI-89T, TI-92, TI-Nspire, TI-Nspire CX (semi-broken), HP 39gII, HP Prime, Casio fx-7000G, fx-7400G+, fx-7700GE, fx-9750G+, fx-9750GII, fx-9860G, cfx-9850G, FX-1.0+, fx-CG10, fx-CP400
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: Samsung i5510, Nexus 5, Atari 2600, Lynx, SMS, Game Gear, Genesis, Dreamcast, NES, SNES, N64, GCN, Wii, Wii U, GBA, DS, 3DS, PS2, PS3, PS4, PSP, PSVita, XBox 360, XBOne

Bandcamp|Reverbnation|Facebook|Youtube|Twitter
Retired Omnimaga admin (2001-11) and editor (2012-14)

Offline _iPhoenix_

  • Full User
  • Join Date: Mar 2017
  • Location: Encoded in Binary.
  • Posts: 414
  • Post Rating Ratio: +8/-1
  • █████ ▼ ♪ Best music ♫
    • @dj_iPhoenix
    • @UCytgMNPxAMDsxjimvxHf01w
    • @the-legend-of-iphoenix
  • Gender: Male
Re: Tell your crappy jokes here!
« Reply #29 on: June 11, 2017, 10:20:04 pm »

If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.

If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.

If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.

If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.

If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn't believe it.

If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.

If a Platonist has two cows, he looks for two others to milk.

If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.

If a Pacifist has two cows, they stampede him.

If a government worker has two cows, he can't sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.

If a Hillary Clinton has two cows, she robs the ranches and gives everyone two cows. If she doesn't have enough, she gives them bull..


I spent so much time looking for the alternate version of this joke, but this one will do :)
  • Calculators owned: A sentient TI-84+ CE, TI-85
  • Consoles, mobile devices and vintage computers owned: TI-99/4a home computer
Help me with a project by voting here! Thanks!

"walruses are better than tuxedo chickens, all hail the great :walrii:" ~ me

 


You can also use the following HTML or bulletin board code to share it on your page or forum signature!


Also do not forget to check our affiliates below.
Planet Casio TI-Planet Calc.news BroniesQC BosaikNet Velocity Games